I'm now 10 weeks pregnant, and I've spent the last 6 weeks dealing with such extreme nausea and exhaustion that there's been no time to worry and no doubt in my mind that I'm carrying a healthy baby.
And yet, I've realized that I've almost started to trust in my fear and worry as a way to protect the baby.
I found an article online by Mandi that sums up how I need to handle this perfectly...
I know it sounds silly, but I've been afraid to say out loud that I think this baby is healthy – not only because I'm afraid of the embarrassment and grief of saying that and then miscarrying, but also as if that will somehow jinx my pregnancy.
There are so many things wrong with living this way, not the least of which is that I'm a Christian, and the God I serve – the God of the Bible – is not one to jinx His followers. Rather, the God I know rewards the faith of His people.
And so, as I fight off another wave of nausea – and I pray for the moments of relief to become more frequent, as they should at this stage - I am happy to declare that I believe this baby to be healthy and growing as it should. I believe, and hope with all of my heart, that I will be holding this tiny little one in just 7 months.
We're waiting for you little one.